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Building Self-Confidence
Ever felt like nerves are holding you back? What if you could flip that into confidence?
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Here’s why confidence is so important.
Confidence is a game-changer in leadership, influence, and career growth. It shapes how others perceive you, makes you more persuasive, and helps you make decisions with conviction. Without it, you’ll struggle to command respect, operate at the most senior levels, or be seen as credible for the biggest jobs, challenges, or projects. Feeling nervous is an unpleasant experience—but building confidence helps you push past self-doubt and step up with authority.
Confidence is something you can build
If you find yourself feeling nervous before meetings, presentations, or speeches understand that you’re not alone, three out of four people do.
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If nerves hold you back, it may be because you’re an analytical thinker rather than an extrovert. You take the time to process, refine, and consider ideas deeply, meaning your insights are often some of the sharpest in the room.
Your voice needs to be heard. Confidence isn’t about speaking first; it’s about knowing that when you do, what you say carries weight.
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The strategies here will help you when you’re leading a meeting, contributing early to discussions, or needing to make an impact. For specific guidance on delivering presentations, see the Presenting to People and Assertiveness & Impact chapters.
Whether you experience nerves regularly or only in high-pressure situations, these tips will help you take control and communicate with confidence.
Seven Ways to Build Self-Confidence
1) Being prepared and organised
Confidence isn’t magic—it’s preparation. Being well-prepared for difficult meetings or high-stakes presentations reduces anxiety, sharpens your delivery, and ensures you're ready for any challenge. It also signals professionalism and competence, helping you handle tough questions with ease.
Key recommendations include structuring your communication logically—beginning, middle, and end—and clearly stating upfront what’s being discussed.
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A logical, well-thought-out approach fuels confidence. Before any important conversation, meeting, or presentation, take time to plan. Think through the situation, outline key points, and anticipate possible questions.
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Next time you face a challenging discussion, try applying these guiding questions:
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Context: Who? What? When?
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Value: Why? What’s in it for them?
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Action: What next? How?
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Being prepared and well-organized reduces nerves and improves delivery—a simple yet powerful confidence booster.
2) Know your stuff
Picking up from point one.
Anticipate, Prepare, and Go Deeper.
Think about the key points likely to arise in meetings. How would you describe them? Where do you have less familiarity? What are the gaps in your knowledge, and how can you address them before stepping into the room?
Consider multiple levels of questioning—for example:
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Why?
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Why is that?
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Why is it that way?
Can you confidently answer questions at a deeper level?
No one is expected to be an expert in everything, but within your domain, you should know your stuff—enough to lead the conversation, defend your ideas, and navigate discussions with authority.
3) Practice and mental rehearsal
Want to nail a difficult meeting or presentation?
Practice OUT LOUD.
Research shows this is the #1 way to build confidence and minimize nerves when presenting or managing, or participating in a meeting. It sounds simple, but it works.
Here’s why:
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Less Anxiety – The more familiar it feels, the less nerve-wracking it is.
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Fix Weak Spots – Spot clunky phrasing or timing issues before they trip you up.
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Smoother Delivery – You’ll stop overthinking and start speaking naturally.
Pro Tip: Rehearse 3-5 times, standing up like it’s the real thing.
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4) Look good, feel better
Appearance impacts mindset.
When you dress well, you feel more put together, which boosts confidence and professionalism.
Looking sharp commands respect and helps you carry yourself with assurance.
Dressing smartly isn’t about vanity—it sets the tone for how you see yourself and how others perceive you.
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If you're a nervous personality type, then understand... this is a quick and easy win.
It’s Going to Be Good, Good, Good...
Self-Affirmation: Give Yourself a Pep Talk This is a confidence building technique, to communicate positive thoughts to yourself several times over, and doing create a greater self-belief - positive affirmations. You can do this talking to yourself out loud, or doing so silently mentally, or by sending yourself texts, or emails, or by noting things down – whatever works for you. By highlighting your positive attributes, you counterbalance negative thoughts and break the cycle of self-doubt. Think about what self-affirmations may work for you best.
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Here are some ideas: Firstly, generic ones: “I can and I will.” “I believe in myself.” “I am strong and capable.” “I am stronger than I think.” Secondly specific ones... Think about how you can create and apply one's specific to the situation that you’re in, for example: “I’ve done my research—I’m speaking from strong foundations”, “The issues I’m raising are the right ones” “The 3 options I’m offering up are the right ones”
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Visualize Like an Athlete. Top performers see success before it happens. Picture yourself nailing it—your brain will believe it’s real.
Visualizing confidence primes you to deliver with impact.
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Try this: Write down your top 3 strengths right now. Say them out loud.
5) Give Yourself a Pep Talk
6) Breathe Deep
Your Body & Mind Shape How Confident You Feel
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Slow Down, Own the Room. Nerves make us rush—pause, breathe, and let your words land with impact.
Breathe Deep, Stay Grounded. Deep belly breaths = instant calm. Keep your voice steady and controlled.
Stand Tall, Speak Tall. Strong posture projects confidence—even if your mind is racing. Own your space.
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Do this consistently, and you’ll not only look more confident—you’ll feel it too. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes, and soon enough, confidence will be second nature. Own your space, own your voice, and own the moment!
7) Authentic inclusion and deflection
If you’re nervous one of the best ways to take the pressure off you, is to include other people in the conversation – this gives you a break, it temporarily deflects the pressure that’s on you and places the focus on them and also, by including people they’ll be more engaged, and their involvement will make your conversational topic more on point.
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Including them, needs to be done authentically, for sensible and good reason, and you can’t overdo this if it’s your meeting, or your presentation – in such circumstances you need to be the one steering the conversation, and if it’s a presentation doing most of the talking,
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Remember, honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall seek to exist.
Be Prepared to Make Mistakes
Experience builds all of us up. Being prepared to make mistakes is integral to developing a growth-focused mindset—by embracing challenges rather than avoiding them. True confidence is built by consistently stepping outside your comfort zone.
Seeking out experience accelerates confidence, so start small, build resilience, and trust that each step prepares you for bigger challenges.
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Making mistakes isn’t failure—it’s proof that you’re learning. Repetition transforms uncertainty into confidence.
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There’s strong psychological and scientific backing that stepping outside your comfort zone and making mistakes builds confidence. Repetition strengthens competence, viewing failure as learning fosters resilience, and gradual exposure to challenges reduces fear—making confidence a learned skill, not just a trait.
Elevating Confidence Beyond the Basics
You’ve learned the core ways to build self-confidence—now, let’s take it further. The strongest, most self-assured people don’t just rely on what they know; they own their presence, master their energy, and command attention in every interaction. Command the Room with Your Presence.
Here’s how.
Fake it till you make it...
Own the Room, Even When Doubt Creeps In ...Confidence isn’t about knowing everything - it’s about showing up, stepping forward, and backing yourself. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy of Harvard Business School says:
“Fake it ’til you make it.” She takes it further: “Fake it ’til you become it.”
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Her research found that expansive, open body language (power poses) leads to real physiological changes: an increase in testosterone (confidence) and a decrease in cortisol (stress). Acting confident doesn’t just help you appear confident—it helps you feel it.
So, when doubt creeps in, straighten up, breathe deep, and own your space. The more you do, the more natural it becomes.
Find Your Supporters
Before a key meeting or presentation, seek input from allies who believe in you. Surrounding yourself with the right people reinforces your confidence.
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The Audience Wants You to Win – People aren’t hoping you fail; they just want insights, not perfection.
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Turn Nerves into Energy – Butterflies? Good! Channel nervous energy into enthusiasm. Passion is contagious.
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Start Strong, End Stronger – First impressions matter. Open with confidence and leave with impact.
Master Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the strongest signals of confidence. Follow the 70/30 rule (maintain eye contact 70% of the time) to show presence without making others uncomfortable. Whether in person or on Zoom, strong eye contact helps you connect, command attention, and feel in control.
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Try this: Next time you walk into a room, take a deep breath, stand tall, and make eye contact with the first person you see. Watch how it changes their response to you.
First Impressions Happen Fast
Before you speak, people form opinions based on how you enter a room, your handshake, and your appearance.
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The Handshake – Firm but not crushing. Too weak signals insecurity; too strong can feel aggressive.
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The Greeting – Smile, say “Pleased to meet you,” and make eye contact.
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Dress the Part – Your appearance shapes how you feel and how others perceive you. Look sharp, feel sharp.
Own Your Presence
Your posture, movement, and gestures shape how you're perceived. Confidence isn’t just about what you say—it’s how you show up.
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Stand tall, shoulders back – A powerful stance signals confidence.
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Purposeful movement makes you look assured.
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Pause before speaking – A well-placed pause shows control.
Avoid fidgeting
When presenting or in meetings, avoid excessive fidgeting or flapping your arms, as it can be distracting and undermine your authority. Instead, use purposeful, controlled gestures to reinforce key points and convey confidence. Stillness, combined with intentional movement, helps you appear more composed and in command of the room.
One Simple Shift Can Change Everything
Confidence is built one decision at a time. Choose one strategy today—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, practicing out loud, or adjusting your posture. Then, repeat.
Confidence isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you build.
Start now.
FINAL WORD
Confidence isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you build.
Confidence comes from preparation, practice, and the belief that you have something valuable to contribute. Remember, even the most accomplished leaders once faced moments of doubt—what sets them apart is their ability to push through and grow from each experience. Trust yourself, focus on progress over perfection, and step into every situation knowing that your presence and perspective matter.
Set a monthly reminder in your calendar:
Think about any changes you want to make to build confidence and set calendar reminders to reflect on them.
Start today.
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